Tuesday, 29 July 2014

The Old Abandoned Fun Fair (part two)

Previously on The Old Abandoned Fun Fair….
Lemiwell Jones has bought the Old abandoned Fun Fair and was being shown its sights by local estate agent Mr Edwards who is currently slumped on the floor reciting song lyrics due to the concussion caused by a rock thrown by an unknown assailant.
We re-join the story as Lemiwell heads up the stairs of the haunted house where the rock was thrown from….

Each footfall caused an unnerving creak that echoed throughout the building.

Plastic skeletons, broken “jumping ghosts” and fake cobwebs mixed with real cobwebs and years of dust and vandalism put Lemiwell on edge. He was not sure if the creaking floor boards were part of the original “fear factor” or if it was down to the wood worm and neglect but what waited for him at the top made his heart race.

The upper floor, he soon found, was an open floor storage space. It was currently storing and group of squatters.
Who are you people? You are trespassing on private property!” Lemiwell shouted with as much authority as he could muster.

The small rag tag gang turned as one and revealed themselves to our protagonist.

There were five of them altogether. The apparent leader spoke first.

Like, We’re the Dooby Scoo Gang!” He croaked.

The who-what now?” Asked a confused Lemiwell.

Like, I’m Shabby. I’m in charge around here and THIS is my dog Dooby Scoo. Say hello boy.” The lanky hippy (for that is what he was) tugged on the metal chain that hung around the feral dogs large muscular neck.

Grrrrr*” it growed (*Rr’et me art ‘im Shabby… RRR’Ill tear Rr’is throat Rrr’out <translated from dogese>)
The rest of the so called gang shuffled uncomfortably from foot to foot.

"We came to see what all the fuss was about this orphanage.. and like... steal stuff!" Said the terrible tramp.

The dog slipped its leash and leaped for Lemiwell.

In what seemed less than a second the beast was upon him. 
Lemiwell didn’t have time to think. Instinct took over.

As the giant paws of Dooby Scoo bore down on his chest, Lemiwell dropped to his knees. He allowed the weight of the dog to push him on his back. As he fell, Lemiwell he kicked out with both legs.

He made contact with the dogs belly and using momentum as his ally, managed to shove the dog over his body and away from danger.

Lemiwell jumped up expecting a return visit from those snarling, sharp teeth, however nothing was to found.
Dooby Scoo had disappeared throw the (conveniently) thin wall!

DOOBY-SCOO!” Shrieked Shabby. “WHERE ARE YOU??
Shabby pelted across the room and peered out of the dog shaped hole in the wall.

Lemiwell took that opportunity to kick the vandal as hard as he could on the bottom. Shabby fell through the hole and hit the ground like a brick. But not before bouncing off the side of the gangs vehicle. The so-called MISERY MACHINE.

Pumped full of adrenaline, Lemiwell turned to face the rest of his would be attackers.

They stood still in awe of what had just occurred.

One of them spoke.

Hey dude….” It was the tall handsome yet under educated one known as Frankie. “We were just following orders. Don’t hit us.

Jinkies!” said the bespectacled one called Theresa who has nothing else to add to this tale and shall forever more be ignored (just like the rest of her life).

Lemiwell turned to the other female… the prettier one, if you will.

Oh my gosh.” She exclaimed. “Thank goodness you killed that horrible guy. He made us do so many horrible things.” Her name was Denise or something just beyond the realms of copyright infringement.

I…. I can’t believe he made us do all those …horrible things.” What Denise had in looks, she lacked in brains.
“Sure thing Denise.” Said Frankie tugging nervously at his neck tie. “All those old caretakers and lighthouse keepers we killed. It made me sick to think about all those faces Shabby cut off them and kept as trophies….

Lemiwell composed himself. “What were you… freaks doing here?” he demanded.

It was Shabby. He said the boss told him we had to hide out here.” Said Denise.


We never met him. He only spoke to Shabby. Told us where to be and who to kill….” Frankie explained.

Theresa popped back into existence and nodded in agreement before being forgotten again.

Lemiwell looked back out of the hole made by Shabby and his dog. The bodies were still there. Dead as dead dog and his strange murdering master.

“...kids today….” He muttered to himself.

It was then that Lemiwell saw the light of the police cars coming towards them. He quickly realised that Mr Edwards must have phoned the authorities as a precaution.

MR EDWARDS!” Lemiwell had forgotten all about his injured friend.

Wait right there you idiots!” he said and ran back down the stairs to his concussed  companion.

Mr Edwards… are you okay?” he asked.

Aaaalright now, Baby I’m aaalright noooo-ooow!.... hur….” Was his reply.

That’ll be a no then. Don’t worry help is on the way.”

Moments later the police arrived and arrested what was left 
of the Dooby Scoo gang. The chief inspector spoke to Lemiwell.

It was a very strange call.” He said. “At first we thought it was a prank, but I can’t resist a muscial medley.!” He chuckled.

Even though it was against protocol, the chief inspector had brought a copy of the call to listen to on the way to the Old Abandoned Fun Fair and allowed Lemiwell to listen to it.

Hello. Police.

Help! I need somebody… Help! Not just anybody…

Are you injured. Do you need help?


Where are you?

Pleasure at the fairground….on the way. AAaan I love the thought of coming hom….

Is anyone in trouble sir?

Saturday night’s alright fo’ fightin’”

So…. You are at the fun fair and there’s a fight? Is that correct?

Touch me…. How can it be….

I beg your pardon!?!?!?

…….The sun always shine’s on TV!

Oh. I get it. A-ha!

The call went dead.

I’ve edited it a bit.” Admitted the policeman. “Cut out all the swearing and stuff…. Really should have a word with the operator about that. She’s a bit temperamental at times.

And everybody laughed.

Apart from Mr Edwards who was now throwing up due to his concussion and was been seen to by the ambulance people.
As the police escorted the gang away, nobody took notice of the large emblem on the wall.

In large black letters across one of the walls read the following undecipherable letters:


It made no sense at that time… but soon…. It would bring fear and death to the innocent people of Stockdale. And no amount of re-establish Fun Fairs and candyfloss could hold back the TRUE horrors that were to come!

What plans does Lemiwell Jones have for the Fun Fair?
Who ordered the Dooby Scoo gang to come to Stockdale?
What does the strange graffiti mean?
What sort of police official makes tapes of emergency calls for his own amusement?
Will Mr Edwards ever be able to speak without infringing copyright of musical lyrics?
All (okay- some) of these questions will be answered in time!
Stay tuned Shippers for more adventures!!!!


  1. Well that was action packed and thats for sure, but I feel there may have been a subliminal message because I really fancy a Dooby Scoo Snack now.

    Giant Steps are what you take . . . . . . . . Walking on the Moon?

  2. Touch me...how can it be...that bit seriously had me laughing like an arse.
    And poor Theresa, always being ignored like she doesn't exist...sorry, who was I talking about again?


Poop deck. - hahahahaha I said poop!