Thursday, 17 April 2014

Oranges - A Henry Hut Investagation

Henry Hut, TRUTH WIZARD, back again to highlight something that has been bothering me for quite some time.

There are those in the world of literature who like nothing more than making people feel stupid by telling them utter lies.

Then there are the idiots who actually believe everything they read.

Take this following statement for example:

"Nothing rhymes with the word Orange."

This is, of course, a lie.

There is at least one word I know of that DOES rhyme with the word Orange and that word is Lozenge.

The corrupter's of correctness are aware of the word lozenge but are with their smug words and neckerchiefs, say things like, "It's not a PROPER rhyme..." and such waffle.

This is, of course, a lie.

If a word sounds like another word then it is a rhyme. full stop.

Here is a scientific test....

"I once ate a lozenge.
It tasted just like Orange."

If you say that out loud you will be able to clearly see (or hear) that those two words are rhymes. Not partial rhymes, or non-real rhymes, but full on, hard core mega rhymes.

In much the same way that cat rhymes with hat Orange rhymes with Lozenge.

however, the conspiracy with Oranges doesn't stop there.
wait.... what are these?

The natural colour of an Orange is in fact..... green (sometimes)! The humble orange is not a natural fruit either but a fruit created by man in much the same way dogs were.

I don't mean than cavemen used wild wolves until they bred the perfect citrus fruit - that would be crazy - but the Orange was created as a hybrid of tangerines and the "Chinese Grapefruit" known as Pomelo.

Oranges are actually gentically modified Grapefruits. 

This is all true but poets don't want you to know this because they are smug and selfish ... well, something that rhymes with Truckers!!!!!

I am Henry Hut THE TRUTH WIZARD and you have just been facted!


  1. Sometimes when I get to many Cheeto's stuck in my throat and I choke it makes a sound that rhymes exactly with orange. And when I finally hack up the blob of half chewed junk-mush it is… you guessed it… ORANGE!

    1. That my friend is what is known as undeniable PROOF!

  2. I hear what you say Mr Henry Hut, Truth Wizard but I have always associated lozenge with the Fishermans friend. As it happens Oranges were the friends of seamen for years as they needed all that vitamin C

    But I find it hard to believe that any hardy seamen would be singing rhymes as they sucked away on their Fishermans friend in their hammock . . . . although as the old saying goes . . . stranger things have happened at sea. . . .

  3. I think rhyming lozenge with orange is a bit of a stretch.... But if it works for you, go with it.

    1. I am a TRUTH WIZARD - I shall not be silenced!!!

      This "so called" Kate Larkindale is obviously one those "THEM" I keep telling the council about in my letters.

      I knew it was a mistake to write things on the internet. It brings out all the nutters!!!


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