Wednesday, 25 June 2014
Stockdale Council Announcement.
It looks like summer is upon the citizens of Stockdale. The sun is trying its best to break through the ever lingering dome of smog, dead cats litter the streets from heat exhaustion and ... is that BBQ smoke I spot in the distance?*
Yes folks, the heat has got too much and the good people of Stockdale need to vent.
And what better way than a good old lynch mob.
After the unfortunate events of last years "NOT-IN-MY-COUNTRY-PAL" which coincided with the school exchange students from France***, this year Stockdale council have voted for the theme of HUNT-A-PAEDOPHILE, which promises to be a crowd pleaser**
Stockdale council have written to all bearded men who live either alone or with their dear white haired mothers to vacate the town during the festivities for their own safety, unless they are a wrong-un, in which case they should make themselves known to one of the stewards on the day.
So get those pitch forks sharpened, dust off those flaming torches and prepare for some good old fashioned "taking the law into your hands" style fun.
*The smoke is actually some burnt out cars from the sinkhole estate.
**Because the people of Stockdale are fear fuelled, ill informed, slightly illiterate vigilantes with nothing to lose.
*** The one year memorial will be held next week at the remains of the Bus Station.